Violent Suicide Tournament

A memo was faxed today from Angus Skaaland in Las Vegas to the WWA Offices in Toronto, as well as each affiliate office around the continent. The subject matter, for immediate release to the public, was the as of yet unannounced stipulations for the semi-final round of the Violent Suicide Tournament.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angus Skaaland Semi-Finals "Glass Shard Massacre" -- The ring-ropes have been taken down and replaced with tight strands of barbedwire. Both wrestlers will be barefoot, and broken beer bottles and bottle caps will be covering the canvas of the ring. The wrestlers will tape their fists, dip them in glue, then in glass. They will also wear knee-pads that will also be dipped in glue and glass. "The Desert Rancher's Path of Fire" -- No Rope Barbed Wire, Desert Preserve (Lots of Cactuses) Inferno Table Match - Pin fall after a flaming table is used "SAW Death Match" -- Razorblade Boards, Syringes, and Razorblade Chairs "Santa's Workshop of Death Match" -- Red, white, and green light tubes illuminated and are placed around the ringside area, as well as goodies from the North Pole such as a Barbed Wire Wrapped Christmas Tree and just what little Timmy wanted for Christmas, a Barbed Wire Baseball Bat! There will be panes of Glass decorated with christmas lights placed around the ring as well!

When phoned for more details, such as the stipulation for the tournament final, Angus politely told us to "fuck off."